2.12-2.18: Joyful Sinning

My joyful sinning—
Beginning, but
Not ending,
With eager grinning—

Is filled
With cigarettes and liquor
That kill me quicker
That any sort of sick or
Barrel to my head.

Lord! Lord!
Save me from this fun I’m faking!
I’d love to lead a life worth saving,
But to take me from this smoke I’m making
Might collapse my lungs, might leave me shaking!

I stretch my neck
For beheading
Through the window to feel the wind blow
And brush my hair.
Catching bugs in my teeth
Is the only sign that I might die—
But the smoke in my eyes says otherwise.

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