He didn’t try to do things he couldn’t.
And promised things he knew he wouldn’t.
His name was Joe Biden
And he was no good at hidin’
His propensity to say things he shouldn’t.
Government
5.6.20 – Where’s the Beef
As Task Forces die,
Archangels are born,
and grounded bikes climb,
There’s one question that thorns:
“Where’s the beef?”
Scarce becomes meat
While the spread of disease
Leaves Wendy in need
Of thousands of those square patties.
4.15.20 – Trump Hears a WHO
Trump heard the WHO
Let >100,000 people die
Due to COVID-19.
This is How the Grinch Trump Stole Christmas WHO funding:
He said to.
It’s not funny.
Oh, the places you’ll go
When you want to win election.
One vote,
Two vote,
Who, though,
Will absentee vote
This November?
4.14.20 – Dan and Jill
Dan and Jill
Went up the hill
For a chance to win a seat
On the Supreme Court
Of Wisconsin (of course)
But only one would be beat.
The incumbent, reserved,
Is known to conserve
While the challenger is known to progress.
The voters prevailed,
Largely voting by mail,
And the liberal came out ahead.
4.13.20 – Death of a Postman
The flute flutters a tune as
The poor ol’ Postman
Marches up the driveway
Lugging the loot
For both Willie and Donnie
Only to shoot
Him down.
Donnie deals in illusions
And rejected the package
That would be sure to
Relieve the Postman
Of his aching cough.
But, alas, in front of
Charley and Bernard’s sweat
Donnie yells to the Postman:
“Drop dead!”
4.7.20 – Election Day is Finally Here!
Election day is finally here!
A day in which to live in fear
For your life or for the vote you cast
You have to choose, you cannot pass.
The Badger State will vote today
As the lonely state that didn’t sway
In its conviction to put lives at risk
As Republicans quickly dismissed
Any chance at vote postponement
Just so Dan Kelly can win appointment
To a court of justices that rejected plea
From Evers for democracy.
Election day is finally here!
Two months too soon with too much fear.
4.4.20 – Masks
The CDC recommends
That we all wear masks
To protect us from foreign invaders
Invading our lungs
And our minds.
The fire between
Science and Trump
Is further stoked.
These masks
Have been worn
For weeks.
But I’ve been wearing masks my whole life*
*Cue teenage angst
3.29.20 – DeWine Doing DeWork
Governor Mike DeWine
Was told that given some time
That masks could cleaned
But the FDA seemed
Determined to block the streamline.
3.28.20 – GM Trumped by Trump
The Defense Production Act
Put power in his paws
To tweet like war is raging
And bypass certain laws.
Sure, Mary B’s production
Had its faults and flaws,
But when Boris catches COVID
You know that something’s wrong.
3.27.20 – Essential Risk
Essential to this plot
Of determining risk
Amounts to those around you
And those you may have missed.
Through executive power
A country will be split
Into high or low or middle
Infectionary risk.
This Is Just to Say 