Four boys
(No good, no doubt)
Sat in the garage,
Figuring out,
Just what to do
With their Saturday night.
“Let’s egg some place!”
Brad said with some might.
They carefully planned it:
The egging of 412 Silver.
Todd would go to the Kroger
And soon would deliver
Four dozen eggs
(Free range, of course).
They were led by Art
(Who they called the worst).
Then the four of them
(Derek in back)
Crept up to 412 Silver
And quickly attacked.
Whistling missiles
Of unfertilized chickens
Littered the siding and windows.
And so it was written:
The floodlights exposed them,
And they ran for the house.
Galloping gayly
Laughter shot out their mouths.
Back at the garage
They gathered their breaths.
Three—no, not four—
Were all that was left.
Todd was here,
Art and Brad made it three.
Derek was missing!
(He’d gone back for his keys.)
The three boys all went home then
Not sharing a thought
About what had just happened
And prayed to their God.
The next day at school,
To their surprise,
Todd, Brad, and Art
Found Derek alive!
Beaten and bruised,
He recounted his night:
Going back for his keys
The homeowners caught him in flight.
They bound him and beat him,
Tied him with rope to a chair,
Poked him with needles,
And yanked at his hair.
After hours of this
Improv interrogation
The captors called the police
And proudly launched their confession.
It didn’t take long
For the cops to arrive
To find a teenager smiling
Because he’d known he survived.
Moreover, he smiled because
He knew (and believe me, he flaunted)
That he could sue this couple
For that new bike he had wanted.
Right there in school
The four all agreed:
No more egging houses
(Unless bikes were guaranteed).